How to Support Troubled Teenage Boys

The scary teenager walking down the streets, try not to ignore making eye contact the next time you are walking down the street. Yes, he may have messy hair and a loosey pant below his hips. Only he knows why he has piercing in his ears. Look to him. Look for a while in his eyes. This coldness, you can probably see. There is something lacking, you can see it. Does he have a desire for something-maybe a relationship? Who to trust? Anyone trusting him? A good friend? A mentor, right? Just a shoulder to depend on or maybe someone to talk to?

Young teens find it difficult to get a clear image. They want their lives to be under their power, they want to make their own choices, they want to be dominant but they want to be welcomed more than anything else.

It can be quite difficult to parent boys with those ideals. Obviously, a 14-year-old boy can’t have influence over his own life. He can’t stay out at all hours of the night, he can’t indulge in sexual activity, he can’t get involved in gangs, and he can’t smoke cigarettes or drink alcohol. It would be reckless for a parent to encourage a teen to influence his or her own life.

That being said, a parent may be able to help their teen learn to make their own choices. This will not only help them to prepare for later in life but will also make them feel less like a child and more like a grown person. It’s crucial to allow some space for our teens to develop. The following are the decisions that young teens should be allowed to make: their career aspirations, to choose whether or not pursue jobs at school, what recreational activities to engage in, whether or not to have a bank account, whether or not to apply for a license for a learner/driver, what volunteer opportunities to engage in, etc.

As far as boys are invincible-if you like, you can joke, but if you’ve been there with a lot of young males you’ll know what I’m saying about. Parents may use this among the many phrases to characterize their children. When boys arrive at this mental state, others will be put at risk. Often teenagers are feeling too old or too heavy to be controlled. They believe they can stay out the whole night and they won’t be hurt by anyone. They feel nobody going to stop or hurt them regardless of what they say and can do anyone they want. Parents must spend the maximum amount of time with their teenage sons. They have to talk to them about tough life-lessons they had to learn as a teenager during their experiences, or the others they knew have had to learn the hard way. If a boy fails to follow the advice given to him and reacts harshly out against family members and disregards the laws, fails to go to school, and hurts someone else, etc., then a parent has little option but to intervene-irrespective of the boy’s feelings about the regulations put by parents.

However, don’t make them feel unheard. Neither makes them feel like they are bad or evil persons. Just let them know, that they have done something wrong and they have to realize it. Let them know harming others, damaging the public properties, or disturbing the civil laws is no way of showing dominance or strength, rather shows how naïve or shallow-minded someone is (indirectly, else they’ll feel a threat to their esteem) You would require a great amount of patience. I mean it is quite common for youngsters to behave as they know everything and they are some super-hero or king of the world. They are just kids and still learning, looking at their parents making good and positive decisions regardless of having the chance to cheat, lie or hurt someone, is more likely to inspire them to change their behavior and realize their mistakes. People learn from their surroundings.

My guidance to frustrated teenage boy parents is as follows:

1) Spend as much time as you can with them-even though you don’t want to or don’t want to.

2) Give them space to make certain life decisions (safe decisions).

3) Congratulations as much as possible to your friend.

4) Discipline your son when it’s appropriate-please be clear with the punishment you want to use.

5) Encourage him to use as much of the resources that God has provided him as possible-whether by making him play sports, helping to take care of the yard, animals or other tasks, engaging in a regular workout regimen, etc.-but do not allow him to waste any of his spare time lying down, watching TV, listening to music or talking / texting on the mobile phone.

That will make it easier for his stress level to build up and he will finally unleash it-in ways that are unmanageable.

I hope you enjoyed the article, comment below what you think has helped you deal with your troubled boy.